The Crying Game Again 44 to 6

Poor T.O.  Philly got him again 44 - 6.  The cry baby loses again.  

Have a Barack day!

America Baracked the VOTE tonight! I am so happy.

I Voted Today

and I called 6 Pennsylvania people to encourage them to vote! I am so awesome!

I love the way Obama’s campaign does things. They make it too easy for people like me to help! I love it.

See more progress on: support Barack Obama

Barack The Vote

TJ and I just B a r a c k e d the VOTE! We waited in line since 6:30 this morning. Yay

TJ and I just B a r a c k e d the VOTE! We waited in line since 6:30 this morning. Yay

Barack The Vote

TJ and I are going to the polls in a few minutes. I am going to go make history and vote for Barack Hussein Obama. BARACK THE VOTE!

TJ and I are going to the polls in a few minutes. I am going to go make history and vote for Barack Hussein Obama. BARACK THE VOTE!

Rosa sat so Martin could walk...Martin walked so Obama could run...Obama is running so our children CAN FLY.

Tag: phone photo

You have new Picture Mail!

From my camera phone.

You have new Picture Mail!

from my camera phone

happy day

I have cramps and I need a nap. Posting from my blackberry.

Scars of Life

Some years ago,

on a hot summer day in South Florida , a little boy decided to go for a

swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.

In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door,

leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle

of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and

closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water,

yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little

boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too

late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the

dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the

alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between

the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father

was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck,

took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in

the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred

by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep

scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his

effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked

if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then,

with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I

have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't

let go." You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars,

too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of

those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret.

But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In

the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. The

Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants

to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we

foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead.

The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the

enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if

you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He

did not and will not ever let you go.

You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are

going through. Never judge another person's scars, because you don't

know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not

selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding

them to someone else. Right now, someone needs to know that God loves

them, and you love them, too - enough to not let them go .

Scars of Life

Some years ago,

on a hot summer day in South Florida , a little boy decided to go for a

swim in the old swimming hole behind his house.

In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door,

leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle

of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and

closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water,

yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little

boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too

late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the

dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the

alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between

the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father

was much too passionate to let go.

A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck,

took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in

the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred

by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep

scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his

effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked

if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then,

with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I

have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't

let go." You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars,

too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of

those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret.

But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In

the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you. The

Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants

to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we

foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead.

The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the

enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if

you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He

did not and will not ever let you go.

You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are

going through. Never judge another person's scars, because you don't

know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not

selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding

them to someone else. Right now, someone needs to know that God loves

them, and you love them, too - enough to not let them go .

[ 11:11 Progress List ] -- A Lesson on Being Worthy

A Lesson on Being Worthy.
A Thought Adjuster Transmission – October 5, 2004.

There are still pockets of resistance in you towards My Light. The biggest problem is that you see yourself as unworthy. It is very rare indeed to find an individual who feels him or herself one hundred percent worthy. Some even go as far as to say that they are vile sinners, others adhere to the belief that all are conceived and born in sin, and therefore incapable of doing any good. Then there are those who believe that once you break one commandment, you break them all, as faith is only as good as its weakest link in the chain. There are many such other beliefs, but the worst one is where the female is relegated to a lower status than that of the male; a view held most widely across the planet.

Obviously, these are all erroneous concepts, and illusions born in the minds of men, who dictated them into creeds, dogmas, isms, and over time they have become accepted belief systems, and ultimately, the supposed word of God. Eastern and western belief-systems have their own faulty aspects. One only has to look at the conditions as they exist in the world today. Very few religions accept the female as being equal to the male, and yet there is the shimmering belief that all are equal in the eyes of the Creator. Yet, this most important fact has still to 'hit home' in the hearts and souls of mainstream humanity. This needs to be addressed, first and foremost, so the feminine aspect of the planet can finally gain the recognition, which is truly overdue. This illusion is most keenly felt by the females of the species, and by the more sensitive males.

It saddens the celestial beings to see the treatments meted out to the females, who are deserving of having a more exalted status, as they are the bearers of life and are therefore closer to the Source of Life. The Creator loves all of creation equally and makes the sun shine on the just and the unjust. God's laws are irrevocable, and the sooner humanity understands Who governs the laws of nature, the sooner they will accept this governance. They will then not thoughtlessly go on to poison the atmosphere, the waters and the lands of the planet, which, although falling in a different category, is also a child of the Most High Creator, in fact an embryo in the womb of God the Supreme, the evolving God of time and space. The planet herself is in growing pains, which are being made more intense due to the thoughtless creatures living upon her, who rape and pillage her for the greed of only a few, whereas all of humanity have been given the role of caretakers, and therefore all ought to share in her joys and beauty.

Please take a larger and longer view of life and the purpose of living here. There are grander vista's awaiting. Wake up out of the illusion of unworthiness. Shake off the shackles of doubt and the blinders of religious incompetence of your so-called spiritual leaders. Turn to the Stillness within and make your own God-connection. Walk the path of unconditional love and forgiveness, towards self and others in loving service. Humanity needs to rise up and become so much more than it presents itself as. A grand awakening needs to occur in the hearts and souls of men, women and children everywhere – that of knowing, accepting, and acting as a worthy children of the Creator God.

© 11:11 Progress Group.
You lit a Flame, and it will become a Raging Fire—ABC-22.

Google this text to find the website:
Learn How To Contact Your Celestial Guides

March 4, 2008

March 4, 2008

"Doing without any extra expenses such as:

eating out, drinking coffee, movies & entertainment,

using a computer at the library so I

do not have an internet bill, limiting trips to

the store to save gas, time and money. Finding

'free food' on campus. Sell or get rid of

anything that you do not need. Extra clutter

clutters your mind and causes unnecessary

stress. Walking is great exercise and helps to

clear your mind. Always have a positive attitude

and know that tomorrow is going to be a

better day than today."

Margie Komistra

My birthday is the 25th and I celebrate the entire month. I did get sidetracked at the beginning of the month because of the BAM BAM DAMN incident. However, today is the 4th and I am back on track.

My goal this month is to get rid of all of my clutter before the 25th. I want to spend my 38th year celebrating peace, freedom, humanity, the earth, the universe, and all that is beautiful, wonderful, good.

Submission

Submittal

Today is April 8, 2008 and I am just now posting this entry. The good news is that I have gotten rid of the clutter. The journey towards peace is going well. Life is good.

Week In Review

Warning: This entry is just a bunch of my ramblings during my boring down time. Please don't take it too seriously.

I think I may start playing with HTML again. Get serious about my skills. Something has to change in my life.

Add http://www.distancehealer.net/index.htm to stumble. Susan is a wonderful and beautiful person. She lived about 3 houses down from me for at least 3 to 4 years before I moved into my own home.

Today is a good day. I am enjoying my work and the space I reside in. Life is good. Life is damn GREAT!

The Truth by India.Arie reminds me of Doug. I love that song and I love that man.

Add http://www.pandora.com/ to stumble as well.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/zenhabits/~3/260984681/

http://sharonhurleyhall.com/

It's 3:10 pm and I am sleepy. I guess those Emerald Nuts commercials are true. Yall better be careful with that 3pm energy zapper. I went to the vending machine to get some nuts but sadly they were not Emerald's. I guess I'll just have to quietly find a place to go snooze and pray nobody misses me.

I had a cube visitor and the visit woke me up. Feeling much better now.

Last week was my birthday and it was beautiful. Doug took me to Ruth's Chris on Tuesday. I had a party on Friday. Herman bought both of my cakes: a red velvet and a rainbow sheet cake. My friends and family came out to help celebrate. We had fun.

On Saturday I had the Cloud Nine treatment at Urban Nirvana thanks to wonderful Doug. God I appreciate that man. He's coming to fix my bathroom plumbing tonight. Literally, not figuratively.

I know I have only been blogging on a weekly basis, but I'm trying to get back to my normal schedule. My schedule got messed up when I decided to blog only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends. Big mistake. That schedule did not work out well for me. So, I am back to testing which schedule will suit my life better. I have been diligently avoiding feature creep on my life and I love the results.

Some friends invited me to dinner tonight. I am not sure if it's for me or them. They called the day of my birthday to say they wanted to take me to dinner that night. Well, if you know me, you know I already had plans and I hate last minute invites like that. Ugh. So they asked me to pencil them in my schedule. (I went to all you can eat crab legs with those people. I'm not talking to them anymore because I hurt myself with those crab legs. They didn't even warn me that the legs were that good.....*scratching my arms wanting more*)

The baby shower for my grandbaby is April 26^th. It is suppose to be at my home, but I may change that location. I'll be sending out the invitations this week. I need to double check with my mom because she's sending out invites as well.

I remember writing a review about a site that helps with showers and special occasions. I may have to dig that site back up to get some help with our shower. We shall see. For those of you care, we are registered at Target. You can go to Target.com and look up the gift registry for father Anthony Jacobs in SC and Mother Christina Macon in SC. Go on and buy them a gift from Target and have it delivered to the address in the registry.

Diplomacy

Diplomacy

di‧plo‧ma‧cy  /dɪˈploʊməsi/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[di-ploh-muh-see] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1. 
   

   Tact and skill in dealing with people. See Synonyms at tact.

tact  /tækt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[takt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation,

–noun

1.	a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations.

2.	a keen sense of what is appropriate, tasteful, or aesthetically pleasing; taste; discrimination.

3.	touch or the sense of touch.

[Origin: 1150–1200; < L tāctus sense of touch, equiv. to tag-, var. s. of tangere to touch + -tus suffix of v. action]

—Synonyms 1. perception, sensitivity; diplomacy, poise.

I was raised on diplomacy! Growing up, I was taught to be tactful and diplomatic at all times. I’m still tactful and diplomatic. A friend once told me that I could insult someone right to their face and they wouldn’t even realize I was insulting them. She called me nice-ty.

Why am I blogging about diplomacy and tact? Well, I am damn tired of being diplomatic and tactful. It’s time for me to grow up and be rude for a change. I don’t sugarcoat things, but I do tend to have a special way of saying some things. I once dated a guy who told me that I had a way of saying, “No” without actually using the word NO. He was right. I would say, “next week, tomorrow, when such & such, or how about this instead?”

This is why I am now declaring this blog tactless, rude, inconsiderate, thoughtless, brash, and boorish. Not really.

Point I'm Making: For me, life is better when I am honest and speak my mind.

Blogs of note(brutal honesty note that is):

• 
  
  http://www.showmeblog.com/


• 
  
  http://field-negro.blogspot.com/


• 
  
  http://www.brutallyhonest.org/


• 
  
  http://funnymommy.blogspot.com/

Happy Birthday To Me

March 25 was my birthday. I feel internally beautiful and at peace. I love this feeling. All of my needs are met. I want for nothing. I feel like the 23rd Psalm. I feel at rest. I want to bottle this feeling and sell it. Naw. I would like to bottle it up for when I am not as rational as I should be. Trash that. I'm holding on to this feeling for as long as possible.

Doug offered to take me to the restaurant of my choice for my birthday. I was torn between Dianne's on Devine and Ruth's Chris. I finally chose Dianne's. I appreciate him. I was trippin over him this weekend, but I'm better now. My little episode this weekend confirmed that I am a spoiled little one and at times bratty. Not going into any more details about that one. We finally went to Ruth's Chris instead.

Back to my birthday. I am 38 today and feel great. I've lost 8 lbs since I started working closer to home with less traffic stress.

I have wonderful friends who really do love me and love them back. Life is great. I'm loving it.

And yes, I am spoiled.

Happy Birthday To Me!

Dear Blog

Dear Blog and Blog Readers,

It has been 7 days since my last post. Please forgive me for neglecting you like that. Last night I tried to write a post. Actually I did and my computer locked up on me and I lost all that I typed. It was very frustrating and sad. I lost a beautifully and wonderfully written post.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, it has been 7 days since my last post. I can say that I have been busy with Doctors visits, the boys, work, life, love and the like, but it may seem like I am making up excuses for ignoring you. Please forgive my neglect.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers how I miss you all. I miss our time together. I miss commenting and receiving comments. I miss my previous Alexa ranking prior to my untimely neglect of you all.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I won't be online tonight because I have to go to another town to visit my dad. My dad is in the hospital and I have to go see him.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, thanks for still being here during my busy absence. Although I have not been faithful to you, you have been faithful to me and I appreciate you all for it.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I wish I could remember that beautiful post I typed last night before my computer crashed on me. It was all about you and how much I miss you and love you and cherish you. You mean so much to me even though I have spending most of my time with the boys, by myself, with real people, working, etc., other real life stuff, you are still an important part of my life.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I hope all is well with you and yours. Please keep in touch.

Love,
Keala M. Brown
aka Let Me Flow
aka Professional Flirt
aka Domestic Violence Survivor

My Earliest Childhood Memory is . . .

eating spiders on my back porch. Yes, I did it. I ate bugs as a child.

We had this huge screened in back porch. I remember it being an old fashioned type porch with the bottom half of the wall being wooden, and the top half all screen. The inside of the porch was painted grey. I don't remember any furniture back there. Just a deep freezer or some other appliance that I didn't really care to know or remember about as a child.

I remember when I was about 3 years old, I would go play on the back porch all alone. I was an only child for about 4 years so I didn't have any live in playmates. I remember role playing all by myself alot as a child. I would pretend I was many different things like a lion, a giant, a fire truck, any new thing I'd just learned about or seen.

On this particular day, I think I was a cat or some small animal. There I was crawling around on the back porch making animal noises, licking my paws and stuff, when I crawled right into a spider web! Darn! I got webby stuff all over me. So, since I was an animal, I did what animals do. I ate the stuff. Then I found the spider, and I ate IT too.

Yes, that's my earliest childhood memory. Eating bugs!! Yummy!

Lesson Learned: We can eat bugs and survive.

Time For A Change

This goal has been gnawing at me for a considerable amount of time now. I no longer find fulfillment in what I do.

• http://www.truecolorscareer.com/
• http://delightfulwork.com/category/fulfilling-work/

See more progress on: work because I like to, not because I have to

I Believe I Was Meant To Learn It

and use it in my everyday life.

• http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki
• my google search for reiki
• http://www.universalhealingcentre.com/blog.php
• http://www.pilatesandreikiinparadise.com/
• http://reikiretreat.blogspot.com/
• http://reikiranch.blogspot.com/
• http://www.reikitimes.com/

See more progress on: learn reiki

Loving Me Feels So Good

Since the car accident, my back has been in alot of pain. I went to the chiropractor for my second visit yesterday. I started to feel a little better after that visit, but around 2:30 I was in pain again. So, I left work early. I have also missed a lot of work as a result of the accident.

Thursday was the only day this week I did NOT have a doctor’s appointment. I was happy not to have that interruption in my regularly scheduled life. When I got off work Thursday, I had a craving for crab cakes AGAIN. So I went grocery shopping.

I came home, made the boys do their chores right because they got it all wrong. I was really looking forward to cooking my special dinner and I do not cook in a dirty kitchen. So after the work, I cooked fried chicken (for the boys, I gave up chicken altogether), crab cakes, baked zucchini, corn, and biscuits. The boys had milk while I enjoyed a glass white zinfandel with my special dinner. Cooking exactly what I wanted for dinner was me nurturing me and my body.

Friday after the boys left for their 4th weekend in a row visit with their dad, I enjoyed stuffed tilapia, brussel sprouts, biscuits and white merlot. That white merlot was very good.

Two nights in a row I enjoyed fabulously cooked dinners with my favorite people, me, myself, William, Allan, and TJ. Friday is was all about me. Quiet, peaceful and just what I needed.

See more progress on: Nurture ME - my mind, my body, my spirit, my soul

I Smile

When I remember how
you last touched me
I Smile

When I inhale and
experience your essence, your aura
I Smile

When I close my eyes and taste
the sweet nectar that is ALL You
I Smile

When I experience your arms
around me bringing me into You
I Smile

When I remember every
experience we've shared
I Smile

When I think of You
and all that you are and represent
I Smile

When I enter into
your being and Let Go
I Smile

Me inside of You
You inside of Me
I Smile

So, You Were in a Car Accident. BTW, When was your last pap smear?

On February 26, 2008, I was sitting on Rhame Road about to turn into my subdivision, when something hit my car and it went BAM!! Then my head hit the headrest and went BAM!!! I shouted, "DAMN!" My head hurt all night long. The next day my back was hurting.

So, I went to the ER, got checked out. I sprained my foot, got a dorsal/lumbar/cervical strain. I had to go back to the internist for a followup. I swear my back still hurts.

On Monday, March 3, 2008, I went for my followup. I was still in pain. My back was/is still hurting. I told the doctor so.

He looked at me and said, "There's really nothing we can do for you. You look like you'll heal on your own. By the way, when was your last pap smear?"

HUH? What? Pap smear? I was hit from behind while sitting down! Dude!

I told him when my last pap smear was. Then he asked, "Who did it for you?"

"Dr. Shipley," I replied

"Oh. I remember him. He was old when I was in medical school twenty years ago. He's still practicing?"

"Yes. He delivered my youngest son."

"Well, we offer gyn services as well. We also run more diagnostic tests than other gyn's."

By now I'm thinking, "Is that so? I came in here as a result of a car accident and you're trying to steal Dr. Shipley's patients."

All I could say was, "My back still hurts. If I decide to leave Dr. Shipley, I'll give you a call. Thanks for offering." <-- See, that's me being diplomatic.

The short version: I go in to have my back looked at because of a car accident and the doctor asked me how my cookie was doing.

I have no lessons for this blog. If you have any, please enlighten me.

The following blogs are totally unrelated to this post. I just felt like sharing:

• http://eliminate-my-debt.blogspot.com/


• http://blacktennispros.blogspot.com/


• http://www.igotanswers.info/


• http://redeyewire.multiply.com/journal/item/284/CONNECTED......?replies_read=8


• http://reverendrichie2.multiply.com/journal/item/53/Your_Opinion_please..

On Rating Yourself

DIGGING IN THE CRATES wrote a blog titled “RATE YOURSELF”.

I gave myself a high score because I love Keala Brown. People who know me know that I’m not conceited. I’d like to think I’m a positive person.

Well, here is the point, once upon a time I was P-H-I-O-N-E. That wasn’t too long ago. After my divorce, I gained a lot of weight (25-30lbs). Ouch! But guess what? I am still phione!

Well, what I noticed was when I gained the weight I also gained a lot of admirers. My dad said the weight looks really great on me, so do a few friends. The ones who really noticed were strangers! Yes, strangers. I get approached more now than when I was 25 lbs lighter. I mean I get approached by men almost daily, sometimes several times a day. At Wal*Mart (I still say WM is evil), at the gas station, at the bank, at the park, at the skating rink, where ever I go.
I thought this was kind of odd because when I was smaller in size, I NEVER got approached by men. Well, rarely, not never.

All of this got me to thinking….hmmmm…what kind of women based on looks alone are men more likely to approach? I asked a friend, a male friend that is, the one who approached me in the bank.

“What type of woman based on looks alone are most men more likely to approach?”

“Average looking women. The really fine and pretty ones are usually stuck up and dis brothers. The ugly girls usually think you have ulterior motives and usually dis brothers as well.”

“Hmmmmm….Is that so?”

So, I was right. I used to be fine, now I’m average. Yeah right. Yall know I'm above average. I took this conversation to my girlfriend who is very beautiful. She says she’s rarely approached because she’s on the slim side. I say it’s because she’s gorgeous. I probably get approached more because of my average-ness. She thinks Keala is above average looking and Keala looks friendly when out in public. (Do I look friendly?)

Really? Is that so?

What do you think family?

Also, based on outward appearance alone men, would you prefer Jada Pinkett Smith(small & petite) or Jennifer Hudson(full figured & voluptuous)?

Related blogs:
http://cocoalounge.blogspot.com/2007/01/full-figured-women-shine-at-golden.html
http://celebodies.wordpress.com/about-2/

Related sites:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/dsef07/t5.aspx?id=7332
http://www.bodypositive.com/

LESSON LEARNED: True Beauty is within and it shines through without.

Living The Good Life

---

Everybody wants to live the good life. To some people that good life is a great job with benefits and high pay. To others, it's doing what you want when you want. Still to others it's getting over on other people. Some people just take & take and NEVER give.

Is giving really the good life?

What type of giving qualifies as the good life?

---

Good Life Lyrics


Sometimes I ask myself, "Where do I fit in as far as this good life is concerned?" To me a good life is having that Peace that surpasses all understanding . Nuff sed.

Blogs talking about The Good Life:

• http://www.sukhi-jiwan.blogspot.com/ - Better Life for All
• http://www.expandmywealth.com/ - The Good Life
• http://www.bjancy.blogspot.com/ - How I Changed The World Today

All good blogs describing the good life in 3 different ways. Enjoy.

Other Good Life sites:

• http://goodlifemag.com/
• http://www.goodlife.org/
• http://www.myspace.com/thegoodlife

What's the good life to you?

Craig Bowers

Craig Bowers was the first boy I really liked, but Pressley Harvin was my first boyfriend.

Pressley lived down the street from me and he had it bad for me. He walked me home from the bus stop everyday. Sometimes he even offered to carry my books. Pressley really liked me except he was afraid of my step-father. All the boys were afraid of my step-father.

My step-father was the type to let everybody know he has shotguns and other weapons and he wasn’t afraid to use them to defend his daughters. Pressley had every right and reason to be afraid of Willie James (my step-father).

One day Pressley got the nerve to actually tell Willie James how he felt about me. I was shocked. I really hadn’t given Pressley much thought until that day. See, I had my mind, my eyes, and my heart set on Craig Bowers.

I had it really bad for Craig. Just like I felt about Pressley, that’s how Craig felt about me. In Craig’s mind, I was just a friend, one of the boys. Craig had a girlfriend, but he still had time to play paper football with me. We talked on the phone for hours and we played on the monkey bars together. I would watch Craig go from one end to the other while Keisha and I would pretend we were on the gymnastics parallel bars. We were pretty good too. I actually took gymnastics at the Y and Keisha actually took dance and Libby’s. So we knew what we were doing (in our little minds).

Back to Craig & Pressley. I never took Pressley seriously until he mustered the courage to tell Willie James that he was in love with me. Pressley with all of his 11 years of wisdom confronted Willie James to say that he was going to make me his woman. I was very impressed by that act alone. That one act along with all of Pressley’s pestering finally made me say yes when he asked me to “go with him”. So at 11 years old, Pressley was my first boyfriend, but I still had it bad for Craig Bowers.

LESSON LEARNED: You never know what a person has to offer until you see them in action. IOW: Never judge a book by its cover.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Since my experiences with the holy spirit, I've experienced a certain type of peace I've never known.

As far as the sad periods, I seek God, I write and I roll. I also look around me and see that I am blessed. I look inside and know who I am. This sounds easy, but sometimes it is quite difficult. That gratitude exercise during the month of November 2007 was quite trying for me.

August 2004 when I was going through my divorce, things were all very difficult for me. My ex husband was making life miserable, but only because I let him. My sad time happened over the period of a week. For an entire week all I did was get up, get the boys to school, go to work as a zombie, come home as a zombie, make sure the boys ate, then go straight to the couch and CRY. I cried several hours everyday for a week! I cried myself to sleep every night. And, in front of my sons! They didn't know what was wrong with me. I am not sure if I would recommend this. Although they did witness this sadness, they also witnessed the recovery. So they learned that sad times don't last always. They've learned that we do overcome, grow, and change.

"Mom, why are you crying?" they asked over and over again. Poor babies, I couldn't even answer them. I pulled the covers over my head and I cried some more. I don't even know how they got to bed or where they slept because I was too busy crying. I did this everyday for a week mind you.

Then on the Friday of that week of crying, I was on the couch doing my thing, crying. As I cried, I thought about every bad thing every body I've ever encountered has done to me. Then I started thinking about all of the bad things I'd ever done in my life. All of this bad thinking could have led to more crying, but it didn't. My spirit woman wouldn't let it.

Immediately, I heard the Father say, "For mine own sake I have cast your sins into the sea of forgetfulness. Don't you know who you are?"

"Of course," was my answer. I knew who I was. I kept telling everybody I was a child of God. I knew I was made in His image. If I was made in His image, then I knew I was like Him and have qualities like him. If He cast my sins into the sea of forgetfulness for His sake, then I must cast my sins into the sea of forgetfulness for my own sake. I had to forgive myself for my own sanity and for my children's well being and care as well. I also had to do the same for people who have wronged me. Not for them, but for me. I forgave them and threw their sins out too.

Then I got up, read my Bible, took that Word and applied it to my life at that very moment. Once I learned my lesson that day, I told the boys, "come on, let's go". We got our stuff and got out of that house. Ever since, Fridays have been our days to go out do something. That Friday we went to the park, watched a movie and had a good ole time. We've been having our fun every Friday since that last Friday I cried on the couch.

Now I don't cry on the couch. It took me a long time to even get comfortable on that couch. As a matter of fact, I sold that couch February 2006. (that couch was evil)

Forgiveness is what got me out of that funk. Forgiveness is what keeps me going. Forgiveness is a key element in healing, so I hear.

I must make one aspect of forgiveness very clear. Forgiving a person does not mean you let that person wrong you over and over again. It just means, you don't let what that person did to you poison you and your life. Don't hold on to the act or wrongful deed, but also know who/what you're dealing with so you don't fall prey to the same things that harm again.

Dr. Laura has an excellent example of forgiveness that I prescribe to. She said, if you are in a pool with alligators or pirhanna and they bite and attack you, once you get out of the pool, you can forgive them. The key is not to get in the pool again. Just because you forgave the flesh eating creatures doesn't mean they are no longer flesh eating creatures and that makes it safe to swim with them again.

LESSON LEARNED: Forgiveness is all about the person doing the forgiving. It has little to do with the person being forgiven. Forgiveness is about self cleansing so that you can be the best you possible. The self cleansing of forgiveness contributes to making you a whole person.

Recommended Forgiveness Reading:

• No more tears for me baby!
• hugs - How to let go of grudges and bitterness
• kisses - The Forgiveness Project
• much love - I love this one
• muah - Light of Love Blog

About My Lifetime

I am a survivor. I have been to Hell, Purgatory, Heaven and Earth. This site is about my journey, my thoughts, my questions, my life, my present, my past, my future, my moments in Hell, my moments in Purgatory, My moments in Heaven, my moments on Earth, but most importantly, my LIFE LESSONS.

If you're interested in overcoming, having fun, interesting dialogue, witty conversations, and sharing LIFE LESSONS, then you will find something here on a daily basis. If you are not sure about Hell, Purgatory, Heaven, or Earth, my LIFE LESSONS may give you a clue. Then again, they may not. That's up to you and your perspective.

Starting February 22, 2008, all of my entries will either have a LIFE LESSON, a pondering question, or a link to a blog that specializes in the topic I wrote about that day. I have yet to decide how that will be, but it will develop and we will run with it.

Although I am a domestic violence survivor, this blog will not be about domestic violence. Every October I focus on Domestic Violence. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Every once in a while I will write about DV, but not very often.

I like to concentrate on living in the here and now, something I learned while visiting Purgatory. My major topics are things I encounter everyday. You may even get lucky and witness a conversation I have with myself.

Who am I? I am a divorced mother of three sons, so I do know something about family life and parenting. I am in my late 30's approaching 40, so I do know something about something. I find that the older I get, the less I care about how diplomatic and tactful I am with my words and actions. That should make for an interesting read, write, or discussion from time to time.

BTW, my wasbund reads my blog on a regular basis; he googled me, that's how he found it. He asked that I be more tactful with my writings for his sake, I am not so sure if I can abide by that one. I'll just pretend he no longer exists.

::giggling to myself:: (GTM)

The Man In The Bay

across the hall from me says he teaches salsa dancing at the Adult Community Center down the street from here.

I am not sure if I still want to do this, but once I make up my mind I will ask him about it.

See more progress on: learn to salsa dance

Vote For MEEE!!!!!

Two days ago I wrote Shameless. Not the Garth Brooks song, but the shameless plea to get my blog more exposure.

I thought Shameless would at least get a response or one vote.

Nobody has voted for me but Keala Brown.

This is another Shameless plea to get you and your friends to go vote for me.

Thank you.

This entry has been brought to you today by my shameless attitude.

Have a nice day.

See more progress on: Get more people to read my Blog

Confidence

What makes YOU confident?
When everything in my life is on schedule and within the budget, I feel confident.
When I stick to my routines and the children follow suit, I feel confident.
Accomplishing goals and meeting specified requirements has always made me confident.
Knowing that I look
good
great when I leave the house everyday makes me confident.
When I have a good night’s sleep and I wake up with plenty of energy, I feel confident.
Buying sexy lingerie and wearing it under everyday clothes makes me confident. not to mention sexy, oh so sexy
When I go out with my girlfriends and we get in just enough trouble not be in trouble, I feel confident.
I am confident just being me in this beautiful brown skin that I am in. That’s what makes me confident.

So, share: What makes You confident?

this entry was inspired by iVillage

See more progress on: post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)

What are you doing?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008
3:35pm

I am ready to go home.

I had a long day of doing nothing. I sent a few emails. Completed 2 Work Definition Documents.
Read some blogs.
Read some emails.
Went to the bookstore.
Ate an apple
Ate a peach
Ate some yogurt
Ate a turkey sandwich

Now I’m playing the waiting game. AGAIN
wait
wait
wait

What are you doing?

and

What kind of schemes/reasons/stories/lies can you concoct to leave work 1-2 hours early?

See more progress on: post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)

No Worries

No Worries

Worry has not been my friend. I find that when I worry, bad things happen just because I worry.

I don't worry much in this new life I am living.

However, during my separation and shortly after my divorce, I played with worry from time to time.

I must say I was not raised to know what worry was.

My mom was not much of a worrier. My grandmother was not much of a worrier. My dad was more of a dreamer than a worrier. He was/is also good at solving problems. God I love that man.

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time passed since I wrote what's above
i worked
i did some other stuff

It is now 4:01pm on the day after Valentine's day and I have a headache. It's an I'm sick of looking at the computer headache.

I had to take my Valentine some juice and soup for lunch. He has the flu. I patiently await his recovery. The dr. said for him to be inside until Monday. He says he's going to work tomorrow. Poor soul. He works too much.

Well, since he can't go to the play tonight, he gave me the tickets and said to take my gf. My gf and I will enjoy the play. Then afterwards, we may go get into some trouble. We'll see. But like I was saying earlier, "No Worries".

I really have a headache. I might need a nap before the play tonight.

-------------------

Christina and I went to the play. Tyler Perry is a genius. If The Marriage Counselor is coming to a town near you, I highly recommend it. Funny, spiritual, touching, a joy to watch.

We sat behind the lady in the photo. We were fascinated by that gold cat on her back. She has no idea we were taking photos of her cat. That cat was funny man. I had to snap snap it with my camera phone.

After the play we went to Hush, then Sunset, then Elements, then back to Sunset.

Hush is too bougie for me. Sunset is cool, Elements is cool. I do like Elements better than Sunset though. Elements had the Black Diamonds on their TV screens all night long. That was pleasure for my eyes.

What do you think of the Cat Lady?

You have new Picture Mail!

We went to a play and this lady had a cat crawling up her back. I will take a photo of you and post it, so be very careful what you do in front of me.