I have to quit you because I HATE YOU

Dear Aunt Flow,

I hate you.  Really I do.  You make me sick.  You LITERALLY make me sick.  You give me lower back pains, cramps, headaches and unbearable fatigue.  I HATE YOU.  This month you gave me more bodily pain than I have ever felt in my entire life.  You wiped me out.  The fatigue you brought was a huge interference to my life.  You made me miss two days of work.  The drugs in my cabinet were not strong enough to tame you.  You really do make me ill.

You were heavier than ever those first two days too.  I HATE YOU!  I’m tired of you interfering in my life.  I’m tired of you taking the MOMMY that my children love and turning her into some evil creature from the bowels of hell.    Aunt Flow, we are not compatible.  I am by nature cheery, fun, lively, bubbly, sweet, entertaining, nurturing, all things good about WOMEN.  You are the total opposite of who I am.  You are fickle.  You are mean.  I never know what I’m gonna get when you come around.  When you come around I become someone I do not like.  You make me grumpy and crabby.  We do not belong together.

Why are you so horrible to me sometimes?  You are not consistent in your treatment of me either.  Sometimes you are ok, but when you decide to be bad you are the absolute worst.   Are you upset with me because I made the decision not to have more children?  Is that why you tried to murder me this month?

Aunt Flow, this relationship is so unhealthy.   You know that I do not do unhealthy relationships.  Which is why I am writing this letter to break up with you.  Yes, that’s right.  I’m taking a contract out on your sorry ass.  This is personal because sometimes I have to put my life on hold because of you.  I’ve done my research about non-invasive ways to get rid of you.  Now I’m interviewing Aunt Flow hit men to be rid of you.  In the meantime I wish you would go kick lava rocks in the hottest pits of Hell.  You deserve it after what you pulled this month.

Our entire relationship has not been all bad, but lately you’ve gotten worse.  I mean the first maybe 20 years of our relationship you were ok.  You didn’t wreak so much havoc.  But this month you went too far.  Maybe it’s because some of us get worse with age.  I think that’s the case with you.  I’m getting better and it is so unfortunate that you cannot get better with me.  I’ll be so glad when you are out of my life.

Aunt Flow, it’s been real but now I gotta say PEACE and Namaste.

Thanks and Have A Great Day,

Keala M. Jacobs

Upstate Almost Winter Weather

Dear Winter,

This is an email I received today from WEATHERALERT.  As I said in my previous note to you, YOU SUCK!

Thanks and have a Great Day,

Keala M Jacobs

"Attempting to find short-term fixes that address the symptoms of the crisis only ensures the organization will wind up back in the same predicament."  ~~Alan Murray

From: Mark Malsick On Behalf Of WEATHERALERT
Sent: Thursday, February 03, 2011 8:13 AM
To: WEATHERALERT
Subject: Upstate Almost Winter Weather

Good Morning,

A developing surface low pressure in the central GoMex will turn on the faucet for a lengthy rainfall event starting… er, now. For most of the State this means rain, at times heavy (two-by-two rain…), tonight and all day Friday. Rain clears out before lunch Saturday.  The Upstate Quixotic wrinkle in this forecast is that from the northern Midlands and Upstate, expect periods of sleet and freezing rain Friday morning and again Friday night. Morning low temperatures will be 32 degrees along the I-85 corridor. Change over to plain rain Friday will be quick after 8 AM. Do not see any significant accumulation. Sledding: Poor.

Friday morning’s forecast cartoon courtesy NOAA/HPC:

Mark Malsick Severe Weather Liaison South Carolina Department of Natural Resources State Climate Office 1000 Assembly Street Columbia, SC 29202

Dear Winter

Dear Winter,
You SUCK!  You were in rare form this season.  You started out by making us think you were a little late by imitating Autumn.  The only problem with that is that Autumn didn't stay long once you decided to make your GRAND entrance.  That's because you were so daggone COLD when you got here.  Then you decided to bring snow and ice to the entire United States except for Florida!  How dare you?  You made my kids miss an entire week of school and they're going to have to make it up.  Winter, YOU SUCK!

Oh, but that's the half of it WINTER.  You dressed up like Spring this weekend just to tease us.  Really?!?!  What was that about?  I enjoyed the Sunshine, blue skies, and above 60 degree temperature.  Why did you take that outfit off?  As soon as Monday got here, you started wearing grey skies and being chilly again.  You even had the nerve to RAIN on us. You know we are ready for you to leave because we love Spring so much.  That's why you dressed up like Spring.  You jealous of Spring or something?

All of this grayness and water you have today is just YUCK.  Well, tomorrow is Groundhog Day.  I hope that Groundhog predicts that you will be gone sooner than normal.  You have worn out your welcome.  I'm so sick of you.  I want you to leave.  Please go away and don't come back until December 2011.

Thank you and God Bless you.
Keala

Dear Blog

Dear Blog and Blog Readers,

It has been 7 days since my last post. Please forgive me for neglecting you like that. Last night I tried to write a post. Actually I did and my computer locked up on me and I lost all that I typed. It was very frustrating and sad. I lost a beautifully and wonderfully written post.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, it has been 7 days since my last post. I can say that I have been busy with Doctors visits, the boys, work, life, love and the like, but it may seem like I am making up excuses for ignoring you. Please forgive my neglect.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers how I miss you all. I miss our time together. I miss commenting and receiving comments. I miss my previous Alexa ranking prior to my untimely neglect of you all.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I won't be online tonight because I have to go to another town to visit my dad. My dad is in the hospital and I have to go see him.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, thanks for still being here during my busy absence. Although I have not been faithful to you, you have been faithful to me and I appreciate you all for it.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I wish I could remember that beautiful post I typed last night before my computer crashed on me. It was all about you and how much I miss you and love you and cherish you. You mean so much to me even though I have spending most of my time with the boys, by myself, with real people, working, etc., other real life stuff, you are still an important part of my life.

Dear Blog and Blog Readers, I hope all is well with you and yours. Please keep in touch.

Love,
Keala M. Brown
aka Let Me Flow
aka Professional Flirt
aka Domestic Violence Survivor

Another Letter From Barack

Keala --

One of the things I'm most proud of about our campaign is not the amount of money we've raised, but the number of people giving it.

As of this afternoon, more than 300,000 people have given in 2008 alone, taking ownership of this campaign by making a donation of whatever they can afford.

This has never happened before. No one has ever built a campaign involving so many Americans as true stakeholders.

It speaks volumes not only about the kind of campaign we're running, but also about how we want politics to be.

So many of us have been waiting so long for the time when we could finally expect more from our politics, when we could give more of ourselves and feel truly invested in something bigger than a particular candidate or cause.

This is it. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

We won the most states and the most delegates on Tuesday because a movement of people decided to take back the political process and participate in unprecedented numbers.

Today we set a new goal: 500,000 people giving to our campaign this year by March 4th.

It's time to take the next step. Please make your first donation now:

https://donate.barackobama.com/match

When you do, one of the 300,000 people who have already given this year will match your donation. You'll see the name and town of the person matching your gift, and you'll even be able to send them a note about why you took the leap.

This has been a remarkable week already, but we are entering what could be a decisive phase of the campaign.

We face contests in Nebraska, Washington State, and Louisiana on Saturday. Maine will go on Sunday. And Virginia, Maryland, and Washington, D.C. will vote on Tuesday.

It's going to take every one of us reaching out, organizing, and giving our all to make it happen.

As we headed into the Iowa caucuses, it had taken us nearly a year to reach our first 500,000 donors.

Now, with your help, we will be able to repeat that feat in a little over 60 days as we head into Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island, and Vermont on March 4th.

So many people said we would never get here.

But we're proving every day that ordinary people can still accomplish extraordinary things.

Thank you,

Barack