Romantic Love or Something Else?

Say you love me and put it in a love song.

I had a small "discussion" the other day with someone about the Erykah Badu song "Love of My Life (An Ode to Hip Hop)".  We were both saying how much we like/love the song.  Of course I love the song because I love Hip Hop (the hip hop she's singing about in the song of course).  However my comrade thought it was a song about romantic love.  When I told him what it was really about, he didn't believe me.  Hmmm...

There are many love songs written and sung that a huge number of people mistake for romantic love songs.  While driving home from work today, one of them played on my playlist, which prompted me to write this entry about love songs that have not a dern thang to do with romantic love.  I guess another thing that prompted this is the realization that I have so much love in my life that is NOT romantic love and I am grateful for that love that I have from friends and family.

Another LOVE SONG that people get confused with romantic love is Brandy by The O'Jays.  Y'all, they singing bout a dog!

Rihanna's Umbrella is about friendship pure and simple.  I have friends like that and I am a friend like the song describes.  Go have a listen and be the judge for yourself.

Self love is important, especially the self love that also lifts others up.  When I was growing up, my mom always told me to think highly of myself because if I don't, nobody else will.  Granddaddy used to say self preservation is the first law of nature.

I write this post to encourage you to love on yourself more.  I'm not encouraging selfishness, but something entirely different.  How can you love others if you first do not love yourself?  The saying Charity(Love) begins at home means you must love you first in order to love others.

Go on and love you and share the love.

• http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLAFDA5169B83C4901
• http://youtu.be/FuBQj9dPzbs
• http://youtu.be/0IA3ZvCkRkQ

Birthday Weekend 2012

The birthday weekend started out pretty uneventful.

I took Friday off to go play with my girlfriends at Career Conference in Duluth GA.

We ate lunch at Chipotle on Friday and ALL of us got ill.  UGH.

Saturday's lunch was a nice linen affair.

Cheesecake

Flower arrangement that I should have stolen.

Me looking kinda tired.

Bracelet I won! Yay!

Sunday morning was really NICE.  I slept in, didn't go to church, didn't watch tv.  Went outside for some air and found this iris in the backyard.  I thought the dog dug up all my bulbs I planted.  Obviously she missed about 3 of them.  Yay AGAIN! I thought it was a lovely sight after that storm on Saturday. A sweet birthday present to wake up to.

Sunday I had to get boys from their dad.  I went to Christina's to get my gift & a glass of merlot.  Company with friends you love is always a treat. I had some birthday cake there and enjoyed the girls.

Sunday night my youngest brother and his wife came over with lilies and a birthday cake.  How sweet.

I didn't party this year like I did last year, but this birthday was so sweet to me.  I felt loved, special and extremely blessed.

So grateful for March 25, 2012.

Boiled Blood

Sistahs, I’m NOT Happy with some of YOU!

Why?  Because there are some of you who make cheating, no good men feel it’s ok to do what they do.  If I’m blogging, writing, talking to you, then you KNOW I’m talking to you and you should read this entire post to learn something TODAY.   Otherwise, I may be preaching to the choir, and that’s ok because the choir can add input from their perspective in the comments section.

Enablers – Some women are enablers.  They enable a sorry man to continue living a sorry life.   The dictionary defines an enabler as: “one that enables another to achieve an end; especially: one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior”

I especially like that last part.  The making it possible for the sorry so in so to avoid the consequences of BAD behavior by taking him back time and time again.  Some examples are: women who pay bills for the bad with money man, women who let the no job man live in her house she is paying for while he does nothing to contribute to the household in ANYWAY whatsoever, women who say cheaters are men just being men because all men cheat.  NEWSFLASH:  ALL MEN DO NOT CHEAT!!!


Project Managers – Some women are project managers.  They think they can fix or change a man who inevitably becomes a project for them.  Project managers think that having a man, no matter how sorry he may be, is better than NOT having a man.  They think that loving that project and working on it will make it all better.  Not so.

Here’s my beef with all the women who take crap from men over and over again.  When your relationship with SOS (Stuck On Stupid) is over, he comes to a woman like me expecting me to put up with what you put up with.  I AM NOT THAT WOMAN!  I confess, once upon a time I was that woman.  I had to go to counseling and read books and WORK ON ME!  Hence, I’m not that woman. 

• I’ve learned to be content with just me. 
• I’ve learned to live without having my focus be on a man either as my problem or as a solution to my problems. 
• I’ve learned to love me more than I love him. 
• I’ve learned to walk in my destiny and live life on my terms. 
• I’ve learned that I am my own project and I have so much in life to be thankful for than to be taking on special projects. 
• I’ve learned so much.

My hope, desire, prayer is that all Women Who Love Too Much get a clue and stop putting up with mess so these men will stop trying to take that mess to  good women who don’t deserve the mess.

After reading this post, I just realized that I’m inadvertently promoting the Robin Norwood book Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change .  Go read it and read it again and tell me what you think.

Are you or someone you know guilty of anything I've described above?
Do you know anybody who has RECOVERED from this syndrome?
Please share.  I'm so curious.

Friends and Vampires

“Please don’t contact me ever again.  You add no value to my life and you drain my energy like a vampire.”

That was a text message I had to send to someone on Tuesday, June 7, 2011.  I had to do it to protect myself from the poison this person was offering me in the guise of “friendship”.  I really don’t know what their definition of friendship is, but it is very different from my definition.

This person would call me at odd hours to cry, complain, and over-analyze most details about their miserable life.  At first I thought I was helping by offering possible solutions on how to cope with stress and love oneself.  However, I quickly realized none of that was working.  I soon found that I was dealing with a miserable person who was totally content in his misery.

I'm NOT sorry, but I DON'T DO MISERY!  Look at the title of my blog.  C'mon people!

The very next day, Wednesday, June 8, 2011, a real friend called me.  Mind you I had not spoken with this real friend in many months.  However, I consider her a real friend because our definition of friendship is the same.  She is not a vampire and she is very supportive.  We may have lost contact for a few months for whatever reasons but we always get back together where we left off.  She is so sweet and I would never do anything to harm her or use her.

I am so grateful for the real friends in my life.  I am also grateful for the wisdom to know the difference and to take the necessary steps to protect my little world from what I call Vampires.

Where do some minions posing as people get off with that “friendship” thing anyway?  I mean this non friend only calls me about his problems and has nothing of value to offer me or my life.  When my sister passed, his attitude was so nonchalant about it.  As a matter of fact, he said he would call me right back when I told him.  He waited over a month before he called me back and offered the most pathetic condolence ever.  And to think, my sister used to tell me to be nice to him.

I am so grateful that I sent that text message.  Life is too short to be trying to please people who care NOTHING about you.  Life is too precious to give time and energy to people who give nothing in return.  My life is too special to me to waste on the waste of this land.

• I associate and befriend people with similar life values as mine
• All of my friends have positive attitudes and they are very loving people
• My friends are healthy and constantly strive to improve themselves
• My friends and associates have much to offer their environments and communities and do so gladly without wanting payment in return
• My friends love themselves and they have a healthy respect for themselves those they encounter
• When people come in contact with my friends, they feel better about themselves
• My friends love life and carry much JOY inside of themselves.
• My friends recognize Vampires and do not associate with such creatures.

Wikipedia has a great article on friendship that I highly recommend.

I just wanted to get that off of my chest.  I feel much better.  Thanks.

Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

Annabel Lee by Edgar Allan Poe

Annabel Lee

BY EDGAR ALLAN POE

It was many and many a year ago,

   In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

   By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

   Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

   In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

   I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

   Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,

   In this kingdom by the sea,

A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling

   My beautiful Annabel Lee;

So that her highborn kinsmen came

   And bore her away from me,

To shut her up in a sepulchre

   In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,

   Went envying her and me—

Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,

   In this kingdom by the sea)

That the wind came out of the cloud by night,

   Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love

   Of those who were older than we—

   Of many far wiser than we—

And neither the angels in Heaven above

   Nor the demons down under the sea

Can ever dissever my soul from the soul

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes

   Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;

And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side

   Of my darling—my darling—my life and my bride,

   In her sepulchre there by the sea—

   In her tomb by the sounding sea.

I've always loved this poem.  One of my teachers made us memorize this.  I do not remember which teacher it was or when, but I'm so glad I memorized it.  I love this love he talks about in this poem.  They were children and their love was so strong the Angels envied them.  I want that kind of love.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annabel_Lee

I Don't Want To, But I Have To

I don't want to go through this.  I don't want to say goodbye to my sister.  I don't want to feel this pain.  I don't want to let her go.  However, I know that I have no choice.

Services for Kathy Gamble-Stone
Monday April 18, 2011 @ 11:00 AM
PLEASANT HILL BAPTIST CHURCH
1210 M. W. Harrison St.
Leesville, LA 71446

Labby Memorial Funeral Home has Kathy.
There information is:
Labby Memorial Funeral Home
601 South Fourth Street
Leesville, Louisiana 71446
Phone: 337-238-1358

How Much More Can I Take?

I'm so tired of the loss.  I really am.

My dad died March 16, 2009.
My best friend and cousin died April 3, 2010.
My sister died April 12, 2011!


Am I to expect someone close to me to die every year here after?  I am so sick of this assault on my family and the people I love.







Dear Lord,
Please don't take away any more of my family members in the next few years, including myself.  I'm tired of saying good bye to people I love so much.  I don't want to miss another family member and sit and reminisce about the times we shared.  I'm too tired for that.  Please give us more time together.

 

I was so blessed to have these beautiful people touch my life.  John Brown filled me with so much of his love that I couldn't feel a gaping hole in my heart when he left.  When he left me, he left so much of him inside of me I am so blessed to have had him in my life.  So blessed to have been his first born.  So blessed.

Timothy was my introduction to what little boys are made of.  Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.  That's what little boys are made of.  We got into mischief at Grandma's together.  I'm not sure if he started the mischief or if I started it.  Whoever started it, we enjoyed the fun and punishment together.  We were very competitive too.  My Ace!  My main mayne MAN.  RIP Dude!

Kathy Gamble was The Beautiful One!  I believe when Prince wrote that song he had her in mind.  I was jealous of her because I thought she stole my mom from me.  Little did I know that Mom had enough love for both of us.  Kathy was such a fragile soul.  She was easy to love and easy to hate at the same time.  You never had to question where you stood with her because she always made it clear.  Love me some Kathy.  She was way too young to leave this place and way too young to suffer the way she suffered.  I pray she is at complete peace now.  She deserves to have love peace and Heaven.

I have to quit you because I HATE YOU

Dear Aunt Flow,

I hate you.  Really I do.  You make me sick.  You LITERALLY make me sick.  You give me lower back pains, cramps, headaches and unbearable fatigue.  I HATE YOU.  This month you gave me more bodily pain than I have ever felt in my entire life.  You wiped me out.  The fatigue you brought was a huge interference to my life.  You made me miss two days of work.  The drugs in my cabinet were not strong enough to tame you.  You really do make me ill.

You were heavier than ever those first two days too.  I HATE YOU!  I’m tired of you interfering in my life.  I’m tired of you taking the MOMMY that my children love and turning her into some evil creature from the bowels of hell.    Aunt Flow, we are not compatible.  I am by nature cheery, fun, lively, bubbly, sweet, entertaining, nurturing, all things good about WOMEN.  You are the total opposite of who I am.  You are fickle.  You are mean.  I never know what I’m gonna get when you come around.  When you come around I become someone I do not like.  You make me grumpy and crabby.  We do not belong together.

Why are you so horrible to me sometimes?  You are not consistent in your treatment of me either.  Sometimes you are ok, but when you decide to be bad you are the absolute worst.   Are you upset with me because I made the decision not to have more children?  Is that why you tried to murder me this month?

Aunt Flow, this relationship is so unhealthy.   You know that I do not do unhealthy relationships.  Which is why I am writing this letter to break up with you.  Yes, that’s right.  I’m taking a contract out on your sorry ass.  This is personal because sometimes I have to put my life on hold because of you.  I’ve done my research about non-invasive ways to get rid of you.  Now I’m interviewing Aunt Flow hit men to be rid of you.  In the meantime I wish you would go kick lava rocks in the hottest pits of Hell.  You deserve it after what you pulled this month.

Our entire relationship has not been all bad, but lately you’ve gotten worse.  I mean the first maybe 20 years of our relationship you were ok.  You didn’t wreak so much havoc.  But this month you went too far.  Maybe it’s because some of us get worse with age.  I think that’s the case with you.  I’m getting better and it is so unfortunate that you cannot get better with me.  I’ll be so glad when you are out of my life.

Aunt Flow, it’s been real but now I gotta say PEACE and Namaste.

Thanks and Have A Great Day,

Keala M. Jacobs

2011 New Year Appreciation & Eradication

Happy New Year Friends and Family.  Thanks for reading my blog.  I appreciate all of you.  We’re 6 days into 2011 and I have been living in a state of Pure Joy ALL 6 of these days.  I woke up feeling great this morning.  I am so thankful that I have discovered this JOY.

My Appreciation/Gratitude List for today January 6, 2011:

• I am thankful God woke me this morning with the energy I needed to start my day.
• Thankful that my children are healthy, wealthy and wise today.
• Thankful for the friends in my life who are loving, kind, funny, supportive and uniquely themselves in so many ways.  (Examples:  Jerrie, Christina, Pele, Sandra, Mama…).  I love them all dearly.
• I appreciate the steady stream of income into my bank account.  LOVE that.
• I am appreciative and thankful for this new sense of self I have.
• I am loving the attitude of this man with the golden voice, Ted Williams.  He is so thankful for everything that comes his way.
• I really appreciate people who are grateful for all of the little things in their lives.
• LOVE my dog, a German Shepherd named Sable.  She brings me so much joy.  Just caring for her and being responsible for her adds value to my life.  I love Sable.

January 4, I did an eradication exercise.  I made 3 three lists.  The first list was a list of all of my achievements and blessings in 2010.  The second list was a list of everything I want to eradicate and get rid of in 2011.  The third list was a list of my desires, hopes, dreams, and wants for 2011.  The exercise of making the lists and burning the lists gave me power and more joy.  I am thankful I did that exercise.

Happy New Year to all of you and many blessings to you this year.

I appreciate all of you and I express this appreciation to all of you from the infinite abundance that is my natural state, knowing that as I do so it will expand and reflect back to me.

~~Namaste~~

When A Parent Loves

As I was cleaning today, I was thinking about the mothers and fathers in my life who LOVE other people’s children.  All of those thoughts brought to mind R.Kelly’s latest hit When A Woman Loves.  If you listen closely it sounds as if he’s singing about his mother or a mother.  During my chores today my thoughts were more focused on when a parent loves.

When a parent loves, the world is loved.  When a parent loves, love is shared with all of us.  When a parent loves another person’s child, they are really loving ALL of our children.

• I remember when TJ was younger and so many of his friends would come over for sleep overs, dinner, lunch, play dates, whatever, anything, time with our family.  Little did I know at the time that us taking in other children to spend some time with was soothing and helpful to their parents.  I’ve been told several times by several different parents that us having their child over was a blessing to them.  We were just loving our child and treating their children as our own.  We had no idea we were really blessing someone else.
• When I was growing up my mom used to work in a daycare center.  EVERY day she would bring home “some stray child” whose parent was not able to pick them up before the center closed.  Although I was a bit selfish during my early teen years, having someone else’s child around really didn’t bother me.  My mother taught me how to love strangers and see past the exterior of people into their souls.  I am so grateful to her for that.  Thanks to my mother, I have several sisters and brothers that neither of my parents created biologically.  My sister Kathy LOVED having someone else’s child to watch over and love.  That was her thing, loving other people’s children.
• Kathy loved other people’s children so much I believe they thought Kathy was their mother.  I remember when Kathy was just 19 or 20, she took in another woman’s baby as her own and practically raised her for years.  I am grateful to Kathy for that because did ALL of us a great service by showing love to a child who needed it.
• Allan spent the weekend with one of his best friends this weekend.  When I went to take him to the meeting place, I realize that my good friend took on 6 children this weekend.  I thought it was just going to be her kids and Allan.  Don’t know why I thought that because every time I go over there, her oldest always has a friend or two hanging around.  Pele always loves our children as if they are her own.  I love her even more for that.  That’s the love of a mother she shows my children.  The love R.Kelly sings of in his hit When A Woman Loves.
• When I was married, my husband had a great camaraderie with children in every neighborhood we lived in.  Before TJ was born, the neighborhood kids would come over and ask if Mr. Tony could come out and play.  He played football with them in our front yard.  When we moved back to Columbia, he played basketball and football with the neighborhood kids.  He always had their best interest at heart.  There was no malice towards them and he genuinely cared about them as if they were his own.  The love of a parent towards another person’s child is what he has always demonstrated.  Even after our divorce I can still see it.  My ex-husband was and still is a father figure to someone else’s children.  I appreciate that he does that.
• My BFF has two daughters of her own.  Well, this weekend she had a total of 4 girls to care for.  One of them is an infant.  She enjoyed every moment of it.   She did it because the mother needed help.  Plain and simple.  She loved all of them as if they were her own too.  I am thankful she does that.
• Jerrie has been taking care of my oldest granddaughter since she was born.  Jerrie has no grandchildren of her own, but she calls mine hers.  She’s a co-grandparent.  As a matter of fact, Ms T is at Jerrie’s right now giving her all of the love a grandchild gives.  I am thankful to Jerrie for the love she has given to my son, my daughter-in-law, and my grands.  Another example of when a parent loves another parent’s child as their own.

This entry is my expression of appreciation to all of the parents who love.  I express this Appreciation from the infinite abundance that is my natural state, knowing that as I do it, this expression will just expand and reflect right back to me.

Namaste

Today Was A Good Day

This song describes how I feel about today. Yes, Today Was A Good Day!

I am thankful for the following:

• Home
• Sanity
• Car
• Family
• Love
• My Dogs
• My Friends
• The dinner I personally made that almost killed me. Spaghetti, homemade meat sauce, Texas toast with Mozzarella cheese, white wine and ............. a Cinnabun from Cinnabun on Fort Jackson.  Yeah, I may die in my sleep tonight after all of that good stuff.
• Nice quiet time with myself and a good book. What am I reading? Busting Loose From the Business Game by Robert Scheinfeld and The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
• A post about loving women that was shared by my boy Ken. You can read it here. I highly recommend it!

Today was a good day.
Namaste

Solid Old School Love

Today is Sunday, November 7, 2010 and I am still thankful, grateful, and appreciative of living life in a state of Pure Joy.

I was talking with one of my friends today while she was watching Madea's Family Reunion.  We then of course started talking about the beautiful eye candy in the movie:  Blair Underwood and Boris Kodjoe.  She informed me that Boris and his wife broke up.  I immediately thought how unfortunate because I love to see love work for people.

The conversation quickly moved to famous couples who either made love work or are making their love last.  I am so thankful for the following couples who have made it work and continue to be positive love influences for us all:

• Ashford & Simpson  - Solid Love kept them married for 36 years and raised 2 children together.  Solid Love.  Solid as a rock!
• Marilyn McCoo & Billie Davis - Precious Love kept them married for 41 years.  
• Ruby & Ossie Davis - Happily married for 56 years.  They openly discuss their open marriage in this book.
• Michelle & Barack Obama - Married for 18 years.
• Will & Jada  - Married 13 years.
• Courtney Vance & Angela Bassett  - Married 13 years.
• Paula & Denzel Washington - Married 27 years.
• Samuel Jackson & LaTanya Richardson - Married 30 years.

I'd like to express Appreciation to all of the above for keeping LOVE and Hope alive.  God Bless & Namaste.

My Handsome Son

He will be 20 soon.
It's amazing he smiled for this photo because he can be camera shy with MOMMY.
I'm so proud of him.

He's grown so much since taking these photos. He went away to training back in February a mixture of a man and a teen. He was already quite mature but after being stripped and rebuilt he called me. When I answered the phone I had to ask, "Who is this MAN who stole my son's deep voice?" You could hear authority, confidence, and strength in his voice. I thoroughly enjoyed the past 20 years being his mom. I'm tearing up as I type this because I love him so much and I am STILL very proud of my young man.

Happy Birthday to My First Born Son, Anthony Clifton Louis Jacobs, Jr. Momma loves you so much dear!