So you like my package?

So you like my package?

Oooo Baby…. I like that now…..

Mmmmm….ummmm….mmm

Now THAT I like….. Guuuuuuuurl………

You packing some nice stuff….

So….you like what you see?

Oh? You like me?!?

Brotha, you don’t even KNOW me.

You may like this packaging, but you don’t know what’s inside.

Once you figure out how to open it, you may just want to walk away before you even see the goods inside.

You see, this package you like is very special and delicate.

You can’t just tear it open like some birthday boy on his birthday.

Opening this package requires patience, knowledge, cleverness, tenderness, wisdom, love, the Holy Spirit, and …… A….. MAP!

If you are fortunate enough to open it, can you handle what’s inside?

Will you even know what to do with what’s inside?

Will you recognize that which is in the package? ß Probably NOT!

See, lots of men see this package and say they like it. But they don’t even try to figure it out properly in order to get a chance to open it.

They try to go straight for the so called goods, not realizing that there’s more to the package than the pretty wrapping. 
Maybe they just don’t care that there’s more to the package than the pretty wrapping. 
Either way, they end up disrespecting the ENTIRE Total Package and miss out on a wonderful gift. 


You see, I am a Total Package Woman. 
You can’t just go tearing at the wrapping for the goods because there is way more to me than you see. 
You cannot fathom what this package really is. 


So, the next time your lustful eye covets the outside packaging, think again. You say you like it. But the reality is you don’t even know this package or what it contains. 


I could be a real b*tch or I could be a real w*tch 
You really don’t know because all you see is the wrapping I could be your worst nightmare or I could be your dream come true 
How would you know if all you’re concerned with is the wrapping? 


I could be your best friend or I could be your worst enemy 
Unless you approach the package with care, you’ll NEVA know. 
 You see, I am the Total Package Woman. 


Proceed with caution…..

More on Forgiveness

How to Forgive Yourself

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit


Forgiving yourself can be much harder than forgiving someone else. When you're carrying around a sense of blame for something that has happened in the past, this bundle of negativity burrowing deep into yourself can cause a never-ending, pervasive sense of unhappiness. Forgiving yourself is an important act of moving forward and releasing yourself from the past. It's also a way of protecting your health and general well-being. Here are some suggestions on how to forgive yourself.

Steps

1. Understand the importance of forgiveness. Living in a state of being unable to forgive requires a lot of energy. You are constantly chewed up by fear of your vulnerability, burning with anger with the source of pain, and living with the constancy of sadness, hurt, and blame. This energy deserves to be put to better use, so that your creativity and abilities are fed, not your negativity. Forgiveness also allows you to live in the present instead of the past, which means that you can move into the future with a renewed sense of purpose focused on change, improvement, and building on experience rather than being held back by past hurts.
   
   • Some people are afraid to forgive themselves because they fear losing their sense of self that has been built on the back of anger, resentment, and vulnerability. In this case, ask yourself if that angry, easily hurt and reactive person is the identity you're keen to show the world and live with. Is the security of this mode of thinking worth the effort and harm it is causing you? It's better to have a small time of insecurity as you find your way again than to continue a lifetime bogged down in anger.
     
   • See forgiveness in a positive light. If you're bothered that forgiving suggests that you shouldn't experience strong feelings such as resentment and anger, try viewing it as the chance to feel strong positive feelings, such as joy, generosity, and faith in yourself. Switching it to thinking about what you'll gain rather than what you'll lose has the benefit of keeping you positive while minimizing the negative emotions.
     
2. Take into account the challenges raised by not forgiving yourself. Not only do you allow yourself to remain stuck in the past, but not forgiving yourself takes a huge toll on your emotional and physical health. Inability to forgive is sourced from anger and resentment, two emotions that can wreak havoc with your health. Numerous studies have shown that people stuck in constant anger are more prone to disease and illness than people who can learn to forgive both themselves and others.[1]
   
   • Always remember that forgiving doesn't equate with forgetting. You're entitled to learn by experience and be guided by that experience. It's about leaving aside the resentment and self-inflicted berating that comes with remembering.
     
3. Accept your emotions. Part of the struggle is often being unable to accept that you are experiencing such emotions as anger, fear, resentment, and vulnerability. Instead of trying to avoid facing these negative emotions, accept them as part of what is fueling you lack of self-forgiveness. A problem named is a problem ready to be tackled.
   
4. Reflect on why you're trying to hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else around you. Perfectionism can cause you to hold too a high a standard for your own behavior, a standard that you wouldn't hold anyone else to. And if your perfectionism causes you to be too hard on yourself, you are caught in a situation where self forgiveness is very hard to do because it seems like acceptance of a sub-standard you. Remove yourself from this vicious cycle of thinking by doing what Martha Beck called "welcoming imperfection". Beck claimed that "welcoming imperfection is the way to accomplish what perfectionism promises but never delivers." It allows you to accept that all human being are imperfect, and you are human, and imperfect too.
   
   • If you are really struggling with perfectionism, consider counseling or therapy work to reduce its impact in your life. Read How to control perfectionism for more tips.
     
5. Let go of other people's expectations for you. If you're stuck in a spiral of self-hate and never feeling good enough because of things that were once said to you, self-forgiveness is essential. You have no control over what other people do and say, and many things people are said and done unconsciously, often motivated by the other person's own shortcomings.[2] Living your life in self-loathing because you don't feel you lived up to someone else's expectations is based on making too much of another person's mixed-up feelings. Forgive yourself for trying to live a life according to other's expectations and start making the changes needed to follow your own purpose instead.
   
   • For every person who has been hard on you, remember that someone was hard on them. Break the chain of harshness by being kind to yourself, not trying to live up to someone else's expectations for you.
     
   • Whenever someone criticizes you for how you are and what you have done, realize that they have just made it that much harder for themselves to err lest they be caught out not fulfilling their own perfection implicit in their criticism. Seeing it this way can ease things for you because you just know they'll slip up somewhere and that being someone who feels entitled to criticize constantly is a very painful (and lonely) way to live.
     
6. Stop punishing yourself. There is a frequent misunderstanding that forgiveness equates to forgetting or condoning. This misunderstanding can lead a person to feel that it is not right to forgive oneself because in the process of doing so, it's akin to an act of forgetting or condoning the past wrong. If this is the factor preventing you from forgiving yourself, keep in mind that forgiveness is a process of mindfulness in which you continue to remember what happened and you do not condone something that was "wrong" as suddenly "right".[3]
   
   • It's perfectly fine to say: "I hate what I've done (or how I've devalued myself) but I'm moving on for the sake of my health, my well-being, and those around me." Affirming this is healthy and allows you to break the cycle of self-harm you've fallen into because you openly acknowledge what was wrong and the intention to set it right from now on.
     
7. Practice self acceptance. You don't need forgiveness for being you. Forgiving yourself is about targeting the specific things that you feel bad about, not about the person you are. As a forgiveness technique, self acceptance allows you to acknowledge that you're a good person, faults and all. It doesn't mean that you ignore the faults or stop trying to improve yourself but it does mean that you value yourself above those elements and cease to allow your faults to halt your progression in life.[4]
   
   • Love yourself and give yourself permission to heal.
     
   • Laugh more; it'll give you more freedom to stop taking it all so seriously.
     
8. Think about what will improve in your life if you can release yourself and how to bring this into fruition. As part of forgiving yourself, it's usually not enough to simply resolve to forgive yourself. Doing things to confirm the forgiveness process will help you to realize your self-forgiveness and to give you a new sense of purpose. Some of the things you might like to consider doing include:
   
   • Taking up meditation. Meditation is an ideal way to find inner quiet, spiritual, self-realization, and physical relaxation. It will allow you to take time out, to tune into and appreciate the moment, and to get in touch with your inner self. Done regularly, meditation will improve your well-being and sense of self.
     
   • Affirm your self-worth. Remind yourself regularly that you are a valued and beautiful person and say simply: "I forgive myself" or "I will no longer let anger eat away at me", whenever the negative thoughts reappear.
     
   • Keep a diary. Write down your journey to forgiveness. Having the writing space to share your thoughts and feelings with, one that nobody else will ever read, is a liberating and self-enlightening way to breaking through negative approaches to your life.
     
   • Seek therapy. If you've tried hard to get over anger, resentment, and other fearful, out-of-control emotions but you're still struggling, connect with a therapist who can help guide you through to a better state of being. If therapy's not your thing, at least find a friend or more to talk to, and who will help to affirm your worth.
     
   • If you have a faith, draw strength from its teachings to support you.
     
9. See forgiveness as a journey, not a destination. If you're liable to thinking that you're unable to "get to" self-forgiveness, you may be sabotaging your chances of even starting the forgiveness journey. It helps to accept that forgiveness is an ongoing process and that you'll have your up days and your down days, as with most feelings and experiences in life. You may feel that you've reached a point of forgiveness, only to have something happen that causes you to feel it was all a wasted effort and that you're back to square one, angry and annoyed with yourself. The best approach is to let the slip-ups happen and see them as minor setbacks in an otherwise more forgiving self. In addition, realize that forgiveness has no timetable; instead, you can do your very best to prepare yourself for the process and to get it started:[5]
   
   • Self-forgive in gradual stages. Start with valuing yourself and making a resolution to stop letting the past continue to haunt the present and direct the person you are now.
     
   • Learn from what you've done in the past but value your whole self (see step above on practicing self-acceptance).
     
   • Enjoy positive experiences consciously and don't seek to downgrade them.
     
   • Be grateful for what you do have – great relationships, a home, a family, an education, abilities, interests, hobbies, pets, health, etc. Look for the good in your life.
     
   • Be self-compassionate. Shift your thoughts to more fulfilling, value-focused things when negative reproaches arise.
     
   • Apologize if others have been involved and you have not already done so, or you have not done so genuinely. Only do this when you have changed your negative outlook.
     

Video

How to forgive and love yourself.

Tips

• The person we are is the result of both good and bad things happening to us in life, as well as the good and bad things we have done. The manner in which we respond to negative events is as important as the way in which we respond to happy events. A person who is inclined to ruminate and make large of a negative event will be more prone to living in anger and resentment and expect future negativity than a person who sees bad things as isolated incidents that don't impinge on who they are as a whole.[6]
  
• Think about how you have forgiven others in the past. Take the lessons from these experiences and apply them to your own situation; the reassuring aspect of this is that you know you have the ability to forgive, you just need to point that forgiveness in the right direction.
  

Warnings

• Stay away from people who have a tendency to sabotage efforts at self-improvement. Most of the time these people are focused on salvaging their own insecurities and are threatened by seeing someone else making the effort to overcome negative pressure in their life. Accept that forgiving yourself will sometimes lose certain relationships where your negativity was a source of the other person wielding power over you. Ask yourself if you'd rather continue the unhappy relationship or move on as a whole, and renewed person able to connect with healthier people.
  
• Don't force yourself to hang around people who bring back the past for you in a negative way; people who push your buttons, devalue or belittle you, and who are thoughtless about your vulnerabilities are best left behind.
  
• Forgiveness is the hardest quality to shape and yet it is the most essential. In learning about your own ability to forgive both yourself and others, your personal growth will be great, and that's a reward worth the hard work forgiveness requires of you.
  
• Avoid talking about your wrongdoings and how bad a person you are around other people. You will create this reality in their minds too. Get therapy to get this negative thinking out of your head and back into the Pandora's Box it came from.
  

Things You'll Need

• Journal or diary
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Forgive a Girlfriend
  
• How to Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You
  
• How to Forgive After an Affair
  
• How to Forgive Someone Without Using Religion
  
• How to Find Forgiveness with a Friend
  

Sources and Citations

1. ↑ Piero Ferrucci, The Power of Kindness, p.46, (2007), ISBN 978-1-58542-588-4
2. ↑ Stephanie Dowrick, Choosing Happiness: Life & Soul Essentials, p. 121, (2005), ISBN1-74114-521-X
3. ↑ Stephanie Dowrick, Choosing Happiness: Life & Soul Essentials, p. 121, (2005), ISBN1-74114-521-X
4. ↑ David Niven, The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It, pp. 15-16, (2000), ISBN 0-06-251650-7
5. ↑ Stephanie Dowrick, Choosing Happiness: Life & Soul Essentials, p. 291, (2005), ISBN1-74114-521-X
6. ↑ David Niven, The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People: What Scientists Have Learned and How You Can Use It, p. 16, (2000), ISBN 0-06-251650-7

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Forgive Yourself. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Attitudes Are Contagious

Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? ~Dennis and Wendy Mannering
Allan said his are not worth catching because he takes everything personally. He’s learning that everything is not always about him. He agrees to work on his attitude.
William has a great attitude in my opinion. He doesn’t take too many things personally either.
I loved William’s attitude when his football team played in the little league Super Bowl and he didn’t get any play time that night. It was cold and pouring rain. All William cared about was that he was on a football team and his team won.
After the game when all of the players and parents assembled in the locker room, William was found posing and taking pictures with the championship trophy. His attitude was GREAT.
Some of the other players who didn’t get play time were crying, angry, pouting and complaining. Not William, he was posing with the trophies and giving himself kudos for cheering on his teammates who actually played in the game.
Go William!

See more progress on: Discuss a weekly quote with the boys as a Family

On Rating Yourself

DIGGING IN THE CRATES wrote a blog titled “RATE YOURSELF”.

I gave myself a high score because I love Keala Brown. People who know me know that I’m not conceited. I’d like to think I’m a positive person.

Well, here is the point, once upon a time I was P-H-I-O-N-E. That wasn’t too long ago. After my divorce, I gained a lot of weight (25-30lbs). Ouch! But guess what? I am still phione!

Well, what I noticed was when I gained the weight I also gained a lot of admirers. My dad said the weight looks really great on me, so do a few friends. The ones who really noticed were strangers! Yes, strangers. I get approached more now than when I was 25 lbs lighter. I mean I get approached by men almost daily, sometimes several times a day. At Wal*Mart (I still say WM is evil), at the gas station, at the bank, at the park, at the skating rink, where ever I go.
I thought this was kind of odd because when I was smaller in size, I NEVER got approached by men. Well, rarely, not never.

All of this got me to thinking….hmmmm…what kind of women based on looks alone are men more likely to approach? I asked a friend, a male friend that is, the one who approached me in the bank.

“What type of woman based on looks alone are most men more likely to approach?”

“Average looking women. The really fine and pretty ones are usually stuck up and dis brothers. The ugly girls usually think you have ulterior motives and usually dis brothers as well.”

“Hmmmmm….Is that so?”

So, I was right. I used to be fine, now I’m average. Yeah right. Yall know I'm above average. I took this conversation to my girlfriend who is very beautiful. She says she’s rarely approached because she’s on the slim side. I say it’s because she’s gorgeous. I probably get approached more because of my average-ness. She thinks Keala is above average looking and Keala looks friendly when out in public. (Do I look friendly?)

Really? Is that so?

What do you think family?

Also, based on outward appearance alone men, would you prefer Jada Pinkett Smith(small & petite) or Jennifer Hudson(full figured & voluptuous)?

Related blogs:
http://cocoalounge.blogspot.com/2007/01/full-figured-women-shine-at-golden.html
http://celebodies.wordpress.com/about-2/

Related sites:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/dsef07/t5.aspx?id=7332
http://www.bodypositive.com/

LESSON LEARNED: True Beauty is within and it shines through without.

Confidence

What makes YOU confident?
When everything in my life is on schedule and within the budget, I feel confident.
When I stick to my routines and the children follow suit, I feel confident.
Accomplishing goals and meeting specified requirements has always made me confident.
Knowing that I look
good
great when I leave the house everyday makes me confident.
When I have a good night’s sleep and I wake up with plenty of energy, I feel confident.
Buying sexy lingerie and wearing it under everyday clothes makes me confident. not to mention sexy, oh so sexy
When I go out with my girlfriends and we get in just enough trouble not be in trouble, I feel confident.
I am confident just being me in this beautiful brown skin that I am in. That’s what makes me confident.

So, share: What makes You confident?

this entry was inspired by iVillage

See more progress on: post random questions daily and see if anyone plays with me and answers them :)

I stand so tall

You cannot see because your head is hung so low

I stand so tall

When you look down on me, all you can see are my shoes. You must want to walk a mile in them.

I stand so tall

That I block your light because you crouch so low

I stand so tall

I can touch the moon without reaching up or tiptoeing

I stand so tall

I can see all that is mine in the vast Universe

I stand so tall
Claiming me and mine is like picking up toys in a play room. Quick and EASY.

I stand so tall
Being Mistress of My Domain is effortless.

I stand so Tall

See more progress on: I am Mistress of My Domain

I stand so tall
You cannot see because your head is hung so low

I stand so tall
When you look down on me, all you can see are my shoes. You must want to walk a mile in them.

I stand so tall
That I block your light because you crouch so low

I stand so tall
I can touch the moon without reaching up or tiptoeing

I stand so tall
I can see all that is mine in the vast Universe

h7. I stand so tall
Claiming me and mine is like picking up toys in a play room. Quick and EASY.

h8. I stand so tall
Being Mistress of My Domain is effortless.

I stand so Tall

See more progress on: I am Mistress of My Domain