Wine tasting at Wine Styles

I'm Really Digging Me

Digging You Baby.

Baby, don't you know that I'm digging you?

BFF: He said he was really digging a chick across town.

Me: Yeah, that's what he SAID. But I wanna know what his definition of "digging someone" is.

BFF: I guess he was really feeling her.

Me: Yes, with his fingers, hands, lips and other body parts.

BFF: You think so?

Me: I'm not so sure, but let me tell you what my experience when someone says he's "digging me" versus what I actually want to happen when they are really "digging me".

BFF: Ok, what's your experience with that term?

Me: Dude says he's "digging me" but he constantly looking for the next best thing. He actually told me he was constantly looking for the next best thing. If he was really digging me he would have realized that I was the next best thing.

BFF: You can't be open to receive a man like that.

Me: Exactly.

BFF: Oh, I get it. He said he was digging me, but he was calling me bad names and using profanity towards me. I cannot take someone treating me badly. He had to go. I need someone to speak positive words to me.

Me: He said he was digging me but he had a toddler's temper tantrum when I didn't answer the phone on the first two rings. Then when I called him back, he accused me of horrible stuff I didn't even do. I want him to respect my time and be confident in himself.

BFF: I think he got you confused with his other woman.

Me: Or he was just confused period.

BFF: He said he was digging me, but he wanted me to be his chick on the side.
Me: That's NOT digging you dear.

BFF: I know. I'm more than enough woman for one man. I'm not sharing and I refuse to take seconds or leftovers.

Me: I got one. He said he was digging me, but he married someone else a few days later.

BFF: What they said and what they did were very contradictory.

Me: Exactly. When someone tells me they are digging me, I expect to see it with their actions. If they are digging me, they treat me with respect and kindness. They use positive words to uplift and encourage. They realize that I am not that other woman. They do not confuse one woman with all women.
BFF: Some of them are not open to receive good treatment. They are so guarded they don't trust anybody. It's a vicious cycle.

Me: Because some other woman wronged them, they come at us all crazy like we are that woman or we are gonna wrong them. That's not necessarily true. Granted we are guarded too, but we don't start out with the bad treatment. I believe since they are charged with protecting us and making us feel safe, if they want that love and companionship they claim to want, they should approach us from a position of vulnerability.  Women are more than willing to respond in kind and positively to a man who starts out with kindness, honesty and respect.  My experience with that term "digging" is plain and simple.  That only meant he wanted what he wanted at that time.  

BFF:  What did he want?

Me:  He wanted to either own me, possess me or just have me as toy.  I am not a toy.  I can be a really good friend when I'm treated right.

BFF:  Wow.  Women want to love, nurture and be loved.

Be open about who you really are and what you really want. If you don't know, then find out.  Dig a little deeper into who you really are.  Otherwise you just look like a dog just digging...

What do you mean when you say you are digging someone?

What do you expect from a person when they say they are digging you?

My Labor Day Sunday

I got cute.  I had to wear my white linen pants, even if they were a size too big.














 I went window shopping

.

Had some jewelry cleaned.

Played with Courtney and Candice and Sire 

Chilled with good friends Jerrie and Christina. 

Talked junk to the boys, not the ones I gave birth to.
It was great.

Saturday and Monday will be posted soon.  ILY

Friends and Vampires

“Please don’t contact me ever again.  You add no value to my life and you drain my energy like a vampire.”

That was a text message I had to send to someone on Tuesday, June 7, 2011.  I had to do it to protect myself from the poison this person was offering me in the guise of “friendship”.  I really don’t know what their definition of friendship is, but it is very different from my definition.

This person would call me at odd hours to cry, complain, and over-analyze most details about their miserable life.  At first I thought I was helping by offering possible solutions on how to cope with stress and love oneself.  However, I quickly realized none of that was working.  I soon found that I was dealing with a miserable person who was totally content in his misery.

I'm NOT sorry, but I DON'T DO MISERY!  Look at the title of my blog.  C'mon people!

The very next day, Wednesday, June 8, 2011, a real friend called me.  Mind you I had not spoken with this real friend in many months.  However, I consider her a real friend because our definition of friendship is the same.  She is not a vampire and she is very supportive.  We may have lost contact for a few months for whatever reasons but we always get back together where we left off.  She is so sweet and I would never do anything to harm her or use her.

I am so grateful for the real friends in my life.  I am also grateful for the wisdom to know the difference and to take the necessary steps to protect my little world from what I call Vampires.

Where do some minions posing as people get off with that “friendship” thing anyway?  I mean this non friend only calls me about his problems and has nothing of value to offer me or my life.  When my sister passed, his attitude was so nonchalant about it.  As a matter of fact, he said he would call me right back when I told him.  He waited over a month before he called me back and offered the most pathetic condolence ever.  And to think, my sister used to tell me to be nice to him.

I am so grateful that I sent that text message.  Life is too short to be trying to please people who care NOTHING about you.  Life is too precious to give time and energy to people who give nothing in return.  My life is too special to me to waste on the waste of this land.

• I associate and befriend people with similar life values as mine
• All of my friends have positive attitudes and they are very loving people
• My friends are healthy and constantly strive to improve themselves
• My friends and associates have much to offer their environments and communities and do so gladly without wanting payment in return
• My friends love themselves and they have a healthy respect for themselves those they encounter
• When people come in contact with my friends, they feel better about themselves
• My friends love life and carry much JOY inside of themselves.
• My friends recognize Vampires and do not associate with such creatures.

Wikipedia has a great article on friendship that I highly recommend.

I just wanted to get that off of my chest.  I feel much better.  Thanks.

That Thing We Can’t Talk About

That thing we can’t talk about

That thing we can’t talk about

I know it’s been rough.

We’ve had our share of stuff.

But it could have been better

Except for that thing we can’t talk about

I see you cry at times

I see you laugh too

But we can’t share those moments

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

You give me more credit than we both know I deserve

I have your back and let things slide with you too

But we really can’t be honest about it

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

We used to be such good friends

I trusted you completely, you relied on me heavily

But we can’t go there anymore

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

I’ll love you forever

But I’ll never tell you or show you

It’ll be my little secret

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

I know you look out for me

And I look out for you too

We just have to keep it hushed

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

We go on with our lives as if nothing ever happened

Of course it’s nothing

What am I talking about?

Oops, it’s that thing we can’t talk about

Thanks for being my friend

Even though it looks like we’re not

I won’t tell

Because of that thing we can’t talk about

©Keala M. Brown

2011 New Year Appreciation & Eradication

Happy New Year Friends and Family.  Thanks for reading my blog.  I appreciate all of you.  We’re 6 days into 2011 and I have been living in a state of Pure Joy ALL 6 of these days.  I woke up feeling great this morning.  I am so thankful that I have discovered this JOY.

My Appreciation/Gratitude List for today January 6, 2011:

• I am thankful God woke me this morning with the energy I needed to start my day.
• Thankful that my children are healthy, wealthy and wise today.
• Thankful for the friends in my life who are loving, kind, funny, supportive and uniquely themselves in so many ways.  (Examples:  Jerrie, Christina, Pele, Sandra, Mama…).  I love them all dearly.
• I appreciate the steady stream of income into my bank account.  LOVE that.
• I am appreciative and thankful for this new sense of self I have.
• I am loving the attitude of this man with the golden voice, Ted Williams.  He is so thankful for everything that comes his way.
• I really appreciate people who are grateful for all of the little things in their lives.
• LOVE my dog, a German Shepherd named Sable.  She brings me so much joy.  Just caring for her and being responsible for her adds value to my life.  I love Sable.

January 4, I did an eradication exercise.  I made 3 three lists.  The first list was a list of all of my achievements and blessings in 2010.  The second list was a list of everything I want to eradicate and get rid of in 2011.  The third list was a list of my desires, hopes, dreams, and wants for 2011.  The exercise of making the lists and burning the lists gave me power and more joy.  I am thankful I did that exercise.

Happy New Year to all of you and many blessings to you this year.

I appreciate all of you and I express this appreciation to all of you from the infinite abundance that is my natural state, knowing that as I do so it will expand and reflect back to me.

~~Namaste~~

I Forgot Because I Am FREE

“I don’t remember the bad things like that.” 

I was talking to a childhood friend a while ago and we kind of catching up on what we’ve been doing and how we’ve been over the years.  We’ve seen each other over the years but not really had any deep conversations.  Our mothers have kept in touch and passed on bits and pieces of information, but you know how information passed on from mothers can be.

During one of our conversations this friend reminded me of something really cruel I had done back in middle school.  When he told me what I did I was appalled.  Really, I was shocked and somewhat disgusted.  I didn’t deny doing it but I do not remember doing it.  That incident is totally erased from my conscious memory.  Why?  Because I choose not to dwell on the past, especially the negativity of the past. 

During another different conversation, my friend told me they had some type of mental breakdown.  He was sure I had heard of it.  I told him I had not heard of it.  Looking back over time, my mom may have mentioned it to me but that is another incident I chose to let go of.  I have been practicing not judging myself and not judging others for any reason whatsoever.  Judgments require too much energy and are really pointless anyway.  When you spend too much time judging you lose some of your freedom.  I choose freedom and I love it.

I learned this from the following Related Bible Verses:

Micah 7:19 (Amplified Bible)

¹⁹He will again have compassion on us; He will subdue and tread underfoot our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.

 

Psalm 103:12 (Amplified Bible)

¹²As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.

 

Philippians 4:8 (King James Version)

⁸Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

I express appreciation to you for reading my blog from the infinite abundance that is my natural state, knowing that as I do so this expression will just expand and reflect back to me.

~~Namaste~~

NaBloPoMo November 9, 2010

Long Day.  Got much done.  Sleepy Now.  Quick Post.  Thankful for the following:

• appreciation for paying my car taxes
• got new tag decals on my car
• Starbucks Soy Caramel Macchiatto
• Allan passing 4 & 5 multiplication tables this week
• good friends like Jerrie Friday
• being a mother and NOT a father (not that anything is wrong with being a father)
• dinner bought, paid for, and cooked all by me
• spoiled rotten puppies in Sable (7mo old German Shepherd) and Lobo (6mo old Siberian Husky)
• me singing in the car.  Man I'm badd but I love singing in the car!  LOVE singing in the car!
• I D E A S  -- luv em.....  got any good ones you wanna share....

Namaste

Cynthia's Story : Today Life's Outlook

Keala has sent you a link to a blog:

Even though I've been there with Cynthia from the beginning, it was still difficult for me to read this without choking up yet AGAIN.

Blog: Cynthia's Story
Post: Today Life's Outlook
Link: http://cynthias-story.blogspot.com/2009/12/today-lifes-outlook.html

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Week In Review

Warning: This entry is just a bunch of my ramblings during my boring down time. Please don't take it too seriously.

I think I may start playing with HTML again. Get serious about my skills. Something has to change in my life.

Add http://www.distancehealer.net/index.htm to stumble. Susan is a wonderful and beautiful person. She lived about 3 houses down from me for at least 3 to 4 years before I moved into my own home.

Today is a good day. I am enjoying my work and the space I reside in. Life is good. Life is damn GREAT!

The Truth by India.Arie reminds me of Doug. I love that song and I love that man.

Add http://www.pandora.com/ to stumble as well.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/zenhabits/~3/260984681/

http://sharonhurleyhall.com/

It's 3:10 pm and I am sleepy. I guess those Emerald Nuts commercials are true. Yall better be careful with that 3pm energy zapper. I went to the vending machine to get some nuts but sadly they were not Emerald's. I guess I'll just have to quietly find a place to go snooze and pray nobody misses me.

I had a cube visitor and the visit woke me up. Feeling much better now.

Last week was my birthday and it was beautiful. Doug took me to Ruth's Chris on Tuesday. I had a party on Friday. Herman bought both of my cakes: a red velvet and a rainbow sheet cake. My friends and family came out to help celebrate. We had fun.

On Saturday I had the Cloud Nine treatment at Urban Nirvana thanks to wonderful Doug. God I appreciate that man. He's coming to fix my bathroom plumbing tonight. Literally, not figuratively.

I know I have only been blogging on a weekly basis, but I'm trying to get back to my normal schedule. My schedule got messed up when I decided to blog only on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and weekends. Big mistake. That schedule did not work out well for me. So, I am back to testing which schedule will suit my life better. I have been diligently avoiding feature creep on my life and I love the results.

Some friends invited me to dinner tonight. I am not sure if it's for me or them. They called the day of my birthday to say they wanted to take me to dinner that night. Well, if you know me, you know I already had plans and I hate last minute invites like that. Ugh. So they asked me to pencil them in my schedule. (I went to all you can eat crab legs with those people. I'm not talking to them anymore because I hurt myself with those crab legs. They didn't even warn me that the legs were that good.....*scratching my arms wanting more*)

The baby shower for my grandbaby is April 26^th. It is suppose to be at my home, but I may change that location. I'll be sending out the invitations this week. I need to double check with my mom because she's sending out invites as well.

I remember writing a review about a site that helps with showers and special occasions. I may have to dig that site back up to get some help with our shower. We shall see. For those of you care, we are registered at Target. You can go to Target.com and look up the gift registry for father Anthony Jacobs in SC and Mother Christina Macon in SC. Go on and buy them a gift from Target and have it delivered to the address in the registry.

Happy VDAY

We had our monthly department meeting today where we were informed that internet usage is being monitored and if we access sites NOT work related, we will be reprimanded.

I will still blog, just NOT on my blog. I am writing this on Notepad and I will import it into my blog when I get home. Clever? Yes, clever.

The only downside is that I cannot interact with my friends anymore.

I probably won't have time anyway as we have won some new contracts which means more work which means less down time for me. about time. I was getting bored fa real.

Well, today I have done all I can do. I sent out all of my stuff and now I am playing the waiting game. Waiting on the work to come back to me. waiting
waiting
waiting
and more waiting

In other news, Happy Valentines Day! Doug got me good last night. He said he needed me to take him to pick up his truck. I took him to get his truck and he said he wanted me to come back to his place for a minute.

I thought, OK. Just a minute because I have stuff at the house to do.

When I walked into his house, I saw the most beautiful bouquet of roses. Awwwww how sweet of him. In front of the roses was a golden box of Godiva chocolates. Aw Damn, double sweet. Like I wasn't expecting something nice from him (tee hee hee). And there was a gift bag with the purple Mary Kay Spa Collection in it. That man knows what I like. I really appreciate him.

In addition to all of that we are going to Tyler Perry's The Marriage Counselor tomorrow night. Afterwards, "where ever Keala wants to go and whatever Keala wants to do." That is such a beautiful thang. He is the sweetheart I want in my life.

Now, I must go research how to love a Capricorn man? Dang, I can't do that here at work anymore. DAMN.

Product endorsement: Ice Breakers energy - natural and artificial flavor Peppermint Mints with caffeine. I have been popping these and I think I might be developing an addiction to them. Pray for me. Keala don't want to be addicted to nuffin.

Today is Sunday, November 11, 2007

and I am thankful for:

• friends
• family
• life
• love
• children
• deer meat. A coworker gave me some deer meat cube steaks and grounded deer meat. I cooked the cube steak today and it was delicious. Deer meat is tender, wild, and full of protein.
• motherhood. Although being a mom is hard work, I must say it is absolutely the best assignment I've ever had. Being a mom is over fulfilling and very rewarding. I love being a mom.

Today is Thursday November 1, 2007

and I am thankful for:

• friends and family who love me dearly
• Honest Allan Micheal who says I smell so good
• Charming William who makes me laugh everyday in some way
• Teenager TJ who is trying so hard to find his way
• my health
• my sweet sweet man who tells me he hates me in such a sarcastic way
• a salary that pays the bills
• a car that still runs
• work to do to keep me gainfully employed
• my Denzel Washington calendar my coworker Dennis gave me
• my 360/Multiply friends and family who keep me coming back for more

Today is Thursday November 1, 2007 and I will blog a thankful blog everyday this month. If I don't, then throw rocks at my beautiful crystal house.

I really like Herman. Very sweet friend.