How Much More Can I Take?

I'm so tired of the loss.  I really am.

My dad died March 16, 2009.
My best friend and cousin died April 3, 2010.
My sister died April 12, 2011!


Am I to expect someone close to me to die every year here after?  I am so sick of this assault on my family and the people I love.







Dear Lord,
Please don't take away any more of my family members in the next few years, including myself.  I'm tired of saying good bye to people I love so much.  I don't want to miss another family member and sit and reminisce about the times we shared.  I'm too tired for that.  Please give us more time together.

 

I was so blessed to have these beautiful people touch my life.  John Brown filled me with so much of his love that I couldn't feel a gaping hole in my heart when he left.  When he left me, he left so much of him inside of me I am so blessed to have had him in my life.  So blessed to have been his first born.  So blessed.

Timothy was my introduction to what little boys are made of.  Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails.  That's what little boys are made of.  We got into mischief at Grandma's together.  I'm not sure if he started the mischief or if I started it.  Whoever started it, we enjoyed the fun and punishment together.  We were very competitive too.  My Ace!  My main mayne MAN.  RIP Dude!

Kathy Gamble was The Beautiful One!  I believe when Prince wrote that song he had her in mind.  I was jealous of her because I thought she stole my mom from me.  Little did I know that Mom had enough love for both of us.  Kathy was such a fragile soul.  She was easy to love and easy to hate at the same time.  You never had to question where you stood with her because she always made it clear.  Love me some Kathy.  She was way too young to leave this place and way too young to suffer the way she suffered.  I pray she is at complete peace now.  She deserves to have love peace and Heaven.

Can I Borrow $25?

Can I borrow $25?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.

SON: Daddy, may I ask you a question?'
DAD: Yes sure, what is it ? replied the man.
SON: Daddy, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing? the man said angrily.
SON: I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?'
DAD: If you must know, I make $50 an hour.'
SON: Oh, the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: Daddy, may I please borrow $25?'

The father was furious, If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.'

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.

The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?

After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down , and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $25.00 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.

'Are you asleep, son?' He asked.

'No daddy, I'm wake,' replied the boy.

'I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the man. It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the $25 you asked for.

The little boy sat straight up, smiling. Oh, thank you daddy!' He yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.

The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.

Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the father grumbled.

Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. Daddy, I have $50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.

It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.

Do remember to share that $50 worth of your time with someone you love.

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the separation for the rest of their lives.

Today is Friday, November 9, 2007

and I am thankful for:

• delegation. I love delegating work to others who are qualified to do it. I am thankful that I can delegate my work to at least 9 different people who I know will get the job done. That means I can also do more. Delegation is a good thing.
• a job close to home. I know I don't start until the 19th, but I am so thankful that my commute time will be cut in half. Not only will my time be cut in half, but the roundtrip distance will go from 50 miles to 10 miles. That is so beautiful.
• more time with my sons. Because of this new job, I will have more time with the ones I love the most.
• appreciation. I am thankful that the people in my life appreciate me. Shoot, I appreciate me. Don't you?
• self acceptance. I am thankful that I can be the REAL ME without worrying about offending some people. I am a flirt by nature, nothing I do on purpose. I am thankful that I can let the natural me and the natural flirt within me free and the people in my life absolutely LOVE me for it. There is nobody trying to change me or convince me that I need to be a certain way. I am thankful that I can be who I am and not give a DAMN about what others think of the REAL Me.

I love me just the way I am. I love those who accept me just the way I am.