Tuesday, April 10, 2012

I'm Really Digging Me

Digging You Baby.

Baby, don't you know that I'm digging you?

BFF: He said he was really digging a chick across town.

Me: Yeah, that's what he SAID. But I wanna know what his definition of "digging someone" is.

BFF: I guess he was really feeling her.

Me: Yes, with his fingers, hands, lips and other body parts.

BFF: You think so?

Me: I'm not so sure, but let me tell you what my experience when someone says he's "digging me" versus what I actually want to happen when they are really "digging me".

BFF: Ok, what's your experience with that term?

Me: Dude says he's "digging me" but he constantly looking for the next best thing. He actually told me he was constantly looking for the next best thing. If he was really digging me he would have realized that I was the next best thing.

BFF: You can't be open to receive a man like that.

Me: Exactly.

BFF: Oh, I get it. He said he was digging me, but he was calling me bad names and using profanity towards me. I cannot take someone treating me badly. He had to go. I need someone to speak positive words to me.

Me: He said he was digging me but he had a toddler's temper tantrum when I didn't answer the phone on the first two rings. Then when I called him back, he accused me of horrible stuff I didn't even do. I want him to respect my time and be confident in himself.

BFF: I think he got you confused with his other woman.

Me: Or he was just confused period.

BFF: He said he was digging me, but he wanted me to be his chick on the side.
Me: That's NOT digging you dear.

BFF: I know. I'm more than enough woman for one man. I'm not sharing and I refuse to take seconds or leftovers.

Me: I got one. He said he was digging me, but he married someone else a few days later.

BFF: What they said and what they did were very contradictory.

Me: Exactly. When someone tells me they are digging me, I expect to see it with their actions. If they are digging me, they treat me with respect and kindness. They use positive words to uplift and encourage. They realize that I am not that other woman. They do not confuse one woman with all women.
BFF: Some of them are not open to receive good treatment. They are so guarded they don't trust anybody. It's a vicious cycle.

Me: Because some other woman wronged them, they come at us all crazy like we are that woman or we are gonna wrong them. That's not necessarily true. Granted we are guarded too, but we don't start out with the bad treatment. I believe since they are charged with protecting us and making us feel safe, if they want that love and companionship they claim to want, they should approach us from a position of vulnerability.  Women are more than willing to respond in kind and positively to a man who starts out with kindness, honesty and respect.  My experience with that term "digging" is plain and simple.  That only meant he wanted what he wanted at that time.  

BFF:  What did he want?

Me:  He wanted to either own me, possess me or just have me as toy.  I am not a toy.  I can be a really good friend when I'm treated right.

BFF:  Wow.  Women want to love, nurture and be loved.

Be open about who you really are and what you really want. If you don't know, then find out.  Dig a little deeper into who you really are.  Otherwise you just look like a dog just digging...

What do you mean when you say you are digging someone?
What do you expect from a person when they say they are digging you?
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