I was married for 15 and a half years. During my separation I met a man I don’t normally go for. At first I thought he was ok. Not my type but since I had been out of the dating scene for so long, I figured I would give him a chance. I thought that I shouldn’t be picky. I should keep my options open.
I put it like that because this man was unambitious so to speak. I was not used to that. I was married to a very ambitious man. In high school I dated guys who were in Who’s Who. I knew that I wanted someone with values and goals similar to mine.
Well, when I met FB, I wasn’t so sure about his values and goals. I knew he liked going to church once a week. He played the drums at his church. He got paid for it. He was in a band. They never had any gigs, but he was in a band. Wait, I take that back, they did have gigs. FB was so . . . churchy? No, big on having people think he was a man of God. His band did get gigs in local clubs. FB said he refused to play in clubs where alcohol was sold or something like that.
Another thing about FB, he washed his dry clean only clothes in the washing machine: sports jackets, slacks, dress shirts, ties, everything. His shirts were so worn that the fold on the collars were tearing. I remember standing in his walk in closet on the phone with my girlfriend telling her how I was going to nominate him for What Not To Wear. He really needed it.
So, guess what I did? I went shopping for FB. I bought him new shirts, ties, and slacks. No sport jackets. I just took his tattered sport jackets and threw them away. They needed it.
After dating FB for about 2 and half months, I noticed that he really had no drive and no ambition what so ever. I initially thought he was in his situation because of his break up that was similar to my separation. Nope. He was happy and content with his situation. I was not. I knew I had to make a change.
The only thing that made me stay with FB for 3 months was the good Richard. His Richard was like crack. But I could do without that kind of Richard.
I eventually made the mistake of loaning him money $500. He only gave me a little over $250 back. Whenever I asked for my money, he would get mad at me and give me attitude like I owed him money or something.
Lesson Learned: Never loan a man money. Never date someone who has no aspirations or whose aspirations, dreams and goals are lower on the totem pole than your own.