Saturday, March 31, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why I know I’m NOT relationship ready

1. Fear - I’m afraid of what getting seriously involved entails. Yes, it’s exciting and all, but I’m really afraid to make that move right now. Call me a chicken.



2. Trust – Thanks to my mom, I have trust issues with people. It’s very difficult for me to trust others, especially men. I would go into more detail about my relationship with Mommy Dearest and why and how she’s screwed me up in this area, but not now. Maybe in another blog. It’s just too painful to share with yall right now.



3. Vulnerability – Or should I say my inability to allow myself to be vulnerable with another person. I’ve been hurt so much in my marriage and by Mommy Dearest that I refuse to allow myself to share ME with anybody any time soon. I came to this realization last night as lay in bed crying because I felt like the people in my life who are suppose to care about me and for me were always throwing me bones. Bones are for dogs and I know I’m NOT a dog. Give me a fish. Fish are for eagles and I soar with the eagles.



4. High Expectations – I haven’t met a man yet who’s ready to meet all of my high expectations. Here’s a link to some examples of my expectations.



5. I’m a FLIRT – Yes. I’m a big time flirt. I flirt all the time. Sometimes I flirt and I don’t even realize it. Flirting comes natural to me. Any man who would want to be THE Man in my world would have to accept this and live with it. I’m not ready to give up who I really am for anybody. Not NOW or ever.



6. Selfish with my time – I like my me-time. I like it so much that I’ve declined dates with men who seemed fine just so that I can have my me-time to be alone with Keala.



7. Too Analytical – Sometimes I over analyze things. I think this trait would send any real man running to the hills. I don’t do it often, but I do it enough to get on my own nerves from time to time.



8. The 1 year plan – I haven’t completed the 1 year plan as outlined in Sumumba’s Book. Buy to book to find out about it. Sumumba, I actually read The One Year plan and it makes perfect sense to me. I’m working on it now. Not sure if it’ll take a year, but I’m working on it. I like the end of the book better than the beginning.



9. I’m in love with someone I can’t have – Yes it’s true. I am hopelessly, head over heels in love with Steve Harvey. Don’t laugh! Steve Harvey is my dream man. Don’t ask why. Just know that I belong to him and I’m going to see him tomorrow night at The Township thanks to my girl Christina. That’s her birthday gift to me. Now see that’s love.



10. I consult with myself before I consult with others – If I find myself in a jam or needing advice, I look inward first. I’m not about to turn to some man for advice before I have my own “come to Jesus” meeting with myself.
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